That Boy..

When I walk, I walk alone..

When I fight, I fight alone..

When I cry, I cry alone..

When I die, I die alone.

Hey, wassup buddy and for those who accidently found my blog?? What do you thing about this poem??  I made it when I was 7(if I’m not mistaken). This poem had been with me around 16 year. Maybe some of you might think this poem is too emo but for me it gave me so much strength to keep fighting this whole life. 

So, today I want to share a story of a boy who struggle to grow up.

This boy was left alone since he aged 3 survives by himself alone in his home. That unforgettable afternoon still haunted the boy. When the heavy rain splashed down and lightning striking from angle, it feels like the world is going to end for that boy. His cry reaches nobody. Everything in the house falls apart. He cries but his heart is strong. He stood up and brave through that afternoon alone (but still came into his nightmare till today).

His life moves on like any other normal kids out there but with a broken heart. His parent keeps broking their promise. That boy is so naïve back then, he just keeps his broken heart to himself (it’s so hard because no one there to listen his heart). When he is 12, his parent promises him that they will reward him if he scores for the exam. The boy did score the exam but the reward is never there for him. He is disappointed but learned it is not easy to keep promise (he never believe anyone promise since then).

In his teenage life the boy still struggle. He had a dream (now remains a dream) to be a basketball superstar. He is almost there but his parent is no supporting him. So that boy gives up his dream and put another scar on his heart. He never gets what he wanted. He had to earn it himself (he buy his handphone himself, he buy his basketball shoes himself, he buy his own cloth and gear, he pay for his own license test). He never asks money from his family at the age of 17.

During the high school year, he been considered the most useless in the family. He fails to perform well in exam to enter the university. Everyday, he daydreams in the class. Somehow, his burning desire for success is still there. He decided to give a last try. Every night, he study and do revision from 10pm till 5am. Everyday, he only sleeps for 2 hours. He looks like a zombie, his grey hairs appear but he knows that’s the only way to prove himself.

Finally, he successfully proves himself. He surpassed everyone. From zero to hero, keeps everyone stun by his success. They don’t know what the pain he had gone through for this success (so tiresome). He made it to the university but there is a bad news. He had been send to an unknown university to study for an unknown course. Suppose he decide to reject it and pursue medic degree but he had to accept it due to the family struggling income. He still that naïve to protect every of his family member. Eventually, his family struggle is over (he made a right decision) but his struggle remain there. Another scar is made.

Of all these scars he earned, he became a wise man. Foresee the future and taking every measure to avoid any mistake in his life but he still struggle in his life wondering when it will end. His pressure is mounting as more and more responsible is hitting on him. Sometimes, he just wishes to end his life. His heart is strong although it breakdown sometimes. He keep pushing on and believe one day he will earn a better place in life.

p.s: Today is his birthday but his soul already died 20 years ago. It’s only his heart that made him keep fighting today.