Who Cares!?

I am weak..

I am a loser..

I don’t deserve a love..

You can dump me after you use me..

You tell me you hurt..

But you don’t know..

You will never know..

I hurt more than you do..

It’s okay because I already use to it..

Being brought down everytime..

It’s just part of my life..

Can't see me cryin'

Just wish someone will saw me..

Faking a smile but dying from the inside..

Feeling like a lost soul..

Feeling to end this life..

But I can’t..

Don’t want to disappoint my lord..

Who give me life..

And brought me here for a reason..

Don’t dare to love..

Don’t dare to dream..

Don’t dare to hope..

Afraid I might let down others..

I’m sorry if I hurt anyone in my life..

I just don’t mean it..

Its happen too fast..

If I can go back to the past..

I will change it..

As long as everyone happy..

I hate this part..

What is the feeling when you want something but you can’t get it? Seriously, I hate this feeling. When I was a kid, I always thought when I grow up I won’t have this feeling anymore (as I can own anything I want and nothing can stop me). Anyway, my idea was so wrong in the first place. Till today, I am still being hunted by this feeling.

So after a long introduction (where I usually do on my school essay :P), I would like to enter to the main topic of my post. So this happen to me very recently (guess back few month ago) where I meet this girl. She was kind and nice; beautiful from inside and outside. Back then she was fine (at least she greet me like others). Everything started to change when my friend set up a fake date for me with her. She started to ignore me (she even purposely faded away from me when we meet). I feel some kind of awkwardness in this situation.

It’s not what in my heart to start a relationship with her. Deep in my heart, all I want is only a simple friendship. Right now all I wish is to clear thing out. I hope that I have the chances to slow talk with her where I can explain everything out. I just don’t like this feeling. I would rather lost a relationship than a friendship with her.

lets be friend^^

Exhausted!!

Fuhh!! I suppose that I’m off today but I feel damn exhausted. The reason is I just went play basketball today (I mean not on my PSP. LOL). It been two month since last I touched the basketball (I miss basketball so much). I guess I have been too busy with my part time job. Apart of that, my hand had injury previously (therefore, I need a long rest>>hibernate :P ).

So, today at the basketball court I play just like usual nothing much change. But I noticed my time reaction had been getting slower and stamina had run down faster than before. OMG!! I have to back to basic once again.

That’s ok for me as long as my hand had heal properly although I sometimes will feel the pain (especially when I playing my PSP for too long :P ).

LONG LIVE BASKETBALL

J

Broken Bridge..

OMG!! I just miss my blogging for the whole June. I have been too busy on my part time work (actually it doesn’t seem like part time). Almost every day I work from morning to the night (exhausted). Finally the fair is over and I feel glad but sometimes I miss the moment too (meeting a lot of new friends).

So, for July I will be quite free although I’m still working (happy). Therefore, I decide to make a post today. Emm.. (How I going to start this..)

OK!! Actually, I get the chance to be closer to the girl I admire for a long time. But the feeling is not the same anymore. The feeling is like we seem so close yet so far. Maybe we have been separated for quite a long time.  I guess she still can’t forget about that guy (which she thinks far better than me).Yea, now I’m really clueless.

Yes, I have to admit it that I ain’t no perfect because I’m still human. The negative side of me told me to give up and forget about her. However, my positive side told me to buff up and impress her. So, I decide to cooperate with my positive side to impress her. I know one day she will be impress (I will stay by her side). Currently, everything had fallen back to zero. I treat her like my friend and the way round (nothing more). 

Hopefully, we can get close back like we use to be (Sincerely, I miss that moment a lot)

Once there was a bridge construction

That was about to be done

Due to some reason

The bridge get broken and falling apart

Everything now is back to non

But I will rebuild it

Because I know it was worth it

=]

My Request..

Everyone in this world is born with instinct and feeling. There is certain criterion developed through the process of life that helps us a lot in making decision. What I’m going to talk about now (even myself get confuse).

This post I would like talk on which type of girl that I prefer. I really hope that this type of girl will came into my life. Actually my request was quite low (but everyone think the opposite about me =.=”’)

Emm.. let me start with my hardest request. LOL. The girl that I prefer should be understanding. She must be like a mind reader (I love mind reader). She can read my mind from the entire angle (WOW!! That was quite hard because till now nobody can exactly predict what's on my mind even my parent :P). Why I prefer a mind reader type girl? Because I hope that she will understand my inner side that is actually quite fragile. However, I would never told them to be understanding (I don't want to force them which brings me to my second request).

My second request is quite hard but it is easier compare to my first request (this sentence is complicated :P) which is committed. I just feel that when both parties in a relationship, both must be committed in their relationship. Both must willing to sacrifice (not their life) and committed which I see modern love quite hard to found it. Some girls or boys will just prefer being love rather than being in love (this is what I called selfish in a relationship). Hence, from the above situation the unfaithful issue will appear (I respect those who really committed themselves in a relationship). Actually, I have been facing this situation quite a few times in my life and I’m fed up with it.

The next request is being simple. This is simple. All she had to be is to be herself (another complicated sentence. LOL). I don’t want the girl that keep on pretending in front of me because I really can see if she is lying or not (I’m a good lying detector :P). Apart of being simple in characteristic, I also prefer a simple appearance. I never prefer a gorgeous girl such as Megan Fox. All I need I simple and nice. Just like Bruno Mars sang “Just the way you are” J

Seriously, I never thought that I would make this post but this is the unsung part of me. So, I have decided to post it but hopefully not many will read my post (after all it will be good laughter.LOL)

Life come and goes

Although it is short

Never give up in searching for the true one

Alright in the end of my post, I just wish everybody will found their true one. 

Second Chance..

Today going to talk about my love life (hell ya I do fall in love too like others). Actually I have been in love with this girl a long time ago (emm..maybe not that long..2years). The bad thing is she never knew that I like her (because I never confess before in my life..ya,I feel suck too). But the obvious thing is the way I show my love is even a blind person can feel it (love is blind). Pity me waiting for her days and night to notice me. Anyway, she didn’t notice it or purposely didn’t  :P

My heart is strengthened; I tell myself one day my waiting will be worth (I have been telling myself for the past two year.LOL). Not everything goes that smooth in our life, I have to admit it. So one day she approaches me and tells me that she had fallen in love with another guy (OMG!!). However, I keep myself calm+chill+cool (I have to keep my ego  :P). So she asks my opinion about that guy. Amazingly I ask her to pursue that guy (I don’t why). That day my heart was broken, shattered to billion+trillion pieces. Asking myself why I let her go. I emo (no one noticed it). But I was still able to keep up myself because I have told myself before even the sky is falling apart, I must keep on fighting till the end (because I have my family, friend and of course her). Why her?? Simple, I don’t want her to saw my sad face (OK!!I’m  really ego.LOL).

On one night (actually I forgot which night  :P) I suddenly feel very down. So, I lying on my bed, close my eyes and I whisper to the God. I told God how I feel about her. I ask the God to give me another chance. I told God this time I will not give up her again. I cry that night actually (so shy to talk about it). Next day, miraculously the girl messages me. We chat. She told me, she never even started a relationship with that guy and is over. In my heart I feel happy (because I was given second chance) and pity for her (because she lost her chance to get into relationship). This time I won’t waste any chances to get her heart (I was determined).

Here I would like to share some value of life.

Sometimes we must learn to let go.

Certain thing if been keep holding for too long will only make the situation worse.

If we let go, we will get to learn a lot of others thing in our life (such as family and friends).

 When something is meant to belong to you, it surely will return to you no matter how far they have gone.

 But never waste any opportunities in our life when is given to you.

Perish every moment in our life.

Because every second count.

J

When the left is without the right..

It’s been a few day I broke my hand. I thought I would be ok + alright + fine without my right hand..

So I would like to recap what happen to my hand. The incident happens around 4 o’clock in the evening when I was playing basketball. As my friend dribbles the ball toward me and I try to attempt a steal, we collide into each other. It happen so fast (blink of an eye) my hand feel the intense pain.

My heart screamed “man, another injury!!”

So the thing did not stop here. Later on back at home I wrapped my hand (like a dumpling LOL). That night I thought I would be ok + alright + fine without my right hand (I’m repeating this statement :P) However it is not like what I thought. I sleep on my hand causing further pain to my hand. I have a sleepless night.

The next day, I thought I would use my left hand to handle my daily routine. At first it was good but later my left hand get exhausted and start to shiver  >.<’’’

From here I learn that why we have a pair of hand. The reason behind it, is to assist each other and reduce the burden on each other. The same goes for our life, when you family, friends and lover to assist you.. Appreciate them because when you lost them you definitely will fill the regret.

The moral of the story is to always becareful when playing sport. It is a serious game that can cause injury if not cautious enough. And remember to stretching before you play a game (that a reminder for myself) :P